An interesting observation/ realization yet again….. You often feel bad about a particular situation, not because of the fact that you have been affected, but more about the reactions it has evoked and a feeling of insecurity that has been created in the mind. It could lead to a state of Limbo!! A state where we tend to get cynical about all the good happening to us – more so because we want to sympathize with ourself . In all probability – a phase that everyone goes through at some point in time, although the timing of its happening being an aspect that impacts the emotional quotient of the person.
It could be crazy if it starts coming in the way of everything that you usually do, and starts evoking a sense of apathy in you.
Sympathizing to a certain extent is alright, but blaming someone else is hypocritical. We all do it no doubt – either intentionally or unintentionally, but then blaming someone else is something which should be avoided. This is an extremely difficult task, but then at the end of the day it is all about being convinced about what you have done. You may say that a certain decision was a call taken to appease someone else, but the veracity is more to do with a candid attempt to appease yourself and your line of thinking about a particular issue.
This may be the consequence of psychological weakness towards a particular person/subject, behavioural traits, existing insecurity, and perceived or prevalent differences. On the contrary, it may also be due to a certain degree of conviction, intellectual reasoning about the expediency of the situation, emotional implications and the relative importance one may affix to people and emotions around them. It more than often is a mix of both.
I had a conversation with a friend recently out of a great relationship that turned bitter – we concluded with one sentence – If you regret that it ever happened, be happy that it did not work out, because it probably was never meant to be. If you regret what happened, you have two options; either undo it if you feel confident enough despite the odds or move on with an open mind to face whatever comes your way! Difficult as it may seem, uncertain as it may look, it probably is the best way. But its essential to ensure that the bitterness does not get to you. If you could be neutral about it, nothing could be better! In the end, as rightly put – you are the architect of your own happiness and on the judgment day ( I despise using the word, because I believe that God is anything but judgemental) , it is not between you and your friends/ family/ acquaintances/colleagues. It is between you and God.
They say – relationships must be nurtured. But it probably would be better to say that relationships must be nurtured but with no expectations and also by ensuring that there is no element of vulnerability involved.
I quote my mentor (dad) here on expectations – It is perfectly fine to have expectations but then we have a tendency or a knack of becoming unhappy through expectations, which is something that needs to be avoided. As a sequel to my previous post, vulnerability is probably on aspect that could have extreme effects on the EQ levels of a person.
Though easy to say, we human beings have the tendency to want the pie and eat it too! A winner if mastered but quite a screw up if messed up: D.
Preaching not and never intended, but then a dinner with a good friend last evening provided some food for thought! Not that it is a realization of sorts; it is more about conquering the state of denial. Sudden spurts of common sense sure do inspire me to write! :- )